Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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