My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
