My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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