mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation