So drunk its hurt
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...