i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.