nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
nutella sex= disaster
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back