I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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