maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
