I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize