does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I did not marry a roomba.
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