I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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