Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
