I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize