Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
