if only i could text you this smell
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just pee around me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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