think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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