Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
