I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My bed smells like the plague
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
