and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
