Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
