Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
