Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
