I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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