i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize