he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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