Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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