My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
