Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
