hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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