my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
