he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
