I could make wine with my vomit
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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