I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
These tits shall not be calmed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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