Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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