his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
