talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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