Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize