Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
