im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
