K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
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I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize