I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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