last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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