so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
