Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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