I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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