i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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