birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You pole danced in your parka.
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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