I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Text me some of your sweat
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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