Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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