I got chris browned last night
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
