guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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