It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
