why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.