what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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