I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single