Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove