WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.