I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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