I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize