Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
