summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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